Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ten Ways Motorcycling Improves Your Life

Motorcycles are not just a way to get to work and pizza. A car is just a way to get to pizza and work, and not a very good one. A motorcycle, on the other hand, is a fantastic travelling machine that invites you to conquer the world (in the good way).

The unfortunate cage-bound citizens around us, however, don't understand. They see the risk, but not the rewards. What rewards? Well, here's ten of them.

  1. Fun. Motorcycling is the second most fun activity one could engage in. The third most fun is eating pizza, and the first most fun I'll leave up to your imagination, because my mom reads this blog.
  2. Calm. Road rage? No thanks, I've got my motorcycle. Sure, I've had to stop at 20 red lights, been cut off twice and my ear itches something fierce. It's ok, because, unlike my poor, trapped brethren in their cages, I'm still having a great time.
  3. Self-reliance. After doing a couple of parking-lot repairs - which you will do eventually, unless you are the pansiest of poseur bikers - and surviving the nastiest weather Mother Nature can throw at you while riding, you'll discover you're a lot more powerful than you thought.
  4. Something to do in the winter. I've heard that some places have a horrible thing called winter, where the bikes get put away for six or seven months. On the upside, a motivated biker will take the opportunity to do everything they meant to do to their bike during the riding months. If you don't like playing in the snow, at least you can play in the garage.
  5. Toughness. After you've ridden every day for a year, changes in weather and hefty rocks bouncing along the road will no longer bother you.
  6. New friends everywhere. If you've got a motorcycle, you've got new friends. All you have to do is be willing to talk to them. For all I rag on Harley dorks, I've met more great guys on Harleys than jerks. And the great thing about the jerks is that most of them are just too cool to talk to you.
  7. Cool leathers. Just remember that it takes one hell of a cool guy to get away with wearing chaps, and there has only been one man ever who could wear white leathers.
  8. A big collection of tools. Most of these will be purchased five minutes before the store closes on a Tuesday night just before you stay up until midnight getting the bike running again. At least you'll only have to buy them once. Until you need another one.
  9. Stompy boots. Let's be honest, we all love to feel like a bad ass in our boots. If you ride every day, you get to wear big ol' stompy boots every day.
  10. A bike makes your butt look fast. Seriously, just like a monkey makes everything funnier, everyone's butt looks better on a motorcycle. You know it's true.


Becky said...

I had to look twice because I thought you said, "A bike makes your butt look fat". Geeze, I hope it does look better on my motorcycle. Maybe it's cause all the bulk is up top....on me anyway!


Surly said...

Outstanding post.
Chaps are ridiculous unless you ride a horse.

Lady G said...

You know, I agree with everything you said except money making everything funnier. I know people with money who are anything but funny.... That aside, I love your blog.
You gave me the perfect subject for my blog on Monday. Check it out if you want.
Thanx for the giggle. gunna go sit on my bike and think about how fast my butt looks................Lady Godiva on wheels.

Lady G said... you really made me laugh. Its amazing how things look different when I wear my glasses. It MONKEY...not MONEY. That just wrecked me.........maybe I should blog about how the elderly should just admit they are elderly and wear the dang glasses!!!! bad.

The blind Lady Godiva on wheels

Lucky said...

Thanks, y'all!

I'm tempted to do a post with just photos of fast-looking butts on motorcycles.