Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Stupid Pizza Product - Pizza Scissors

SkyMall is endlessly entertaining, particularly because most of their products are just so ridiculous.

The Pizza Scissors, though, take the cake. This is a classic example of solving a problem that doesn't exist. Pizza is not difficult to cut. It isn't difficult to serve.

These scissors on the other hand, look like a royal pain. Can you imagine trying to wash that thing? I imagine cutting a pizza while the cheese is still hot would be a nightmare as well.

Oh, and I'm reasonably certain that pizzas come in a variety of sizes (and sometimes shapes). Basic geometry tells me that this thing is not going to yield a perfect number of perfectly sized slices, like, ever.

But hey, I'm all for continuing development of pizza technology. Call me when something cool comes along...


Chris Cope said...

Wait, how did the left side get cut?

Lucky said...

Good catch! Pizza scissors require more steps to get the same result as a cheap pizza cutter. 8 slices is 16 cuts with pizza scissors, but only 4 with a knife or pizza cutter.

Who designed this thing? Rube Goldberg?

Noam Sayin' said...

I wonder how many units they've sold.

"I want to make a dollar on each one. But I want to sell a million."

Paraphrasing Ron Popiel.

Hey, Lucky. Do you know any good scooter repair manuals?

Ruby said...

A repair manual for a chinese scooter? How do you say "good freakin' luck" in Mandarin? ;)

I'll ask some of my nefarious underworld contacts and see if they have any suggestions. In the mean time, read this site: http://www.dansmc.com/

It is crammed so full of basic info that it's hard to believe it's all free.

Lucky said...

Who is this Ruby person, and why are my comments being posted with her name?

Lucky said...

Also, my nefarious contacts would like to know what make your scooter is.

They told me the manufacturers all have websites, and you might be able to find the info you need there.

irondad said...

Think laterally. These scissors woould make quick work out of cutting polish sausages, peppers, and whatever else you wanted on your pizza. Don't tell me you use a pizza cutter on the fixin's!

Noam Sayin' said...

How dumb of me. It's a typical Chinese scooter, from what I hear. It's imported by Lance Powersports, and given the name Vintage 150.

In the research I've done so far, there are two typical engines that come on chinese scooters - a GY6 and another model, which I can't remember.

Thanks for the tip on that site.

Lucky said...

irondad - Good point, but doesn't everyone already have a dedicated pair of pizza kitchen shears for that? :D

Noam - If you can find the manufacturers name (it should be on the DOT tag on the frame), I know a guy with contacts in Beijing who can probably get you a manual. And parts, if you need them. Let me know, I'm happy to help out.

Noam Sayin' said...

What an amazing blog. I usually just come here for the irreverent humor. Then I got a scoot, and well, the rest is history.

I'll have a look, Lucky. Thanks for the assist. I'm still getting parts I need through the importer, but it's something to consider for down the line.