Monday, October 01, 2007

Hard Lessons (for Someone Else)

Saturday night I went to Joe's Farm Grill again with a group of chums. As we were leaving, we saw a young woman, a young man (apparently not previously acquainted) and a very pretty new Bajaj scooter (which belonged to the young woman). The guy was trying to start the scooter, and we heard her say "here, let me." She got it started, and then let the guy back on.

This was her first huge, dumb mistake.

Dude got on again. This was his first huge, dumb mistake.

He revved the scooter way up, and we heard her say "No, like this" and then "That's the brake, this is the clutch."

Then we saw the impossible happen: Dude did the biggest wheelie ever, on a 4-stroke scooter. If it hadn't been for the rear fender, I'm sure he would have ended up underneath the bike.

As it was, the front end slammed down again, to one side. He wobbled a bit, and then dumped the pretty new Bajaj. Hard.

I ran over to help him collect his teeth, but luckily for him they were all still plugged into his stupid head. No souvenirs, I guess.

The damage to the bike wasn't too terrible. A bent fender, a broken headlight lens and maybe some twisted handlebars.

I don't know how, but the young woman refrained from strangling the son of a bitch.

Lessons learned:
  1. Never let someone else ride your bike unless you have personally witnessed their riding abilities.
  2. If you are flirting with a cute scooter girl, wrecking her bike is a good way to guarantee you'll be sleeping alone that night.
  3. Never let someone you don't know ride your bike.
  4. Never ride a bike that belongs to someone you don't know because, sometimes, shit happens.
  5. Dude, wheelies are way cooler when a scooter does them.

5 comments:

Sarch said...

Oh man, I see the whole thing in my head. Was they guy saying he would get the scooter repaired?

Lucky said...

Naturally. Actually, he walked around going

"I'll pay for... I'll pay for..."

...and didn't finish until he saw that the damage wasn't too bad.

"I'll pay to get everything fixed."

irondad said...

Did you happen to notice his ego slinking along the gutter?

Steve Williams said...

He's got her now. The repair and payment gives him open and continual access to her until the repair is complete and it rides well. If he plays his cards right he can do a lot of apology dinners, lunchtime checks on the progress, and long walk apologies and confessions about what a jerk he is.

She'll finally give into the wounded puppy who needs help.

Man, this guy is a real operator.

Or maybe not.

Greg said...

Dude, that is a riot. I agree with Steve if this guy plays his card right he is in. My one and only rule with regard to others taking my bike, No, with the exception of my friend. No ifs ands or butts.