Thursday, January 04, 2007

Moto-Hulk

When I ride I'm pretty mellow about other drivers. Alert, certainly, but otherwise indifferent. I know people are going to do dumb things. I know that I'm invisible to 99.53% of the drivers on the road. When I have a near miss I think, "phew!" and not, "you jerk!"

Except when someone's natural stupidity is combined with aggression. When a driver pushes past me mere inches away and then cuts me off, I get angry. When someone in a cage decides that I should share my lane space so they can get to the red light a little faster, I get angry.

In fact, I start to feel a need to accompany these people to where ever it is they're going, and lucidly explain to them how their aggressive tactics come across not only as impatient assholery, but as bullying. Their reckless driving is understood, by me, as a threat. I won't let such a thing stand.

I'm sure they'd understand when I then caved their heads in with a wrench.

No, I'm not actually going to assault the asshats I encounter. It would be a losing battle; there's always another jerk out there swilling a coffee-like-beverage and text-messaging something important like "OmG LoLErZ!" when they should be, ya know, driving.

It sure would be nice to knock the venti half-caf mochaccino out some cell-phone yapping moron's hand and lay some knowledge on them now and then, though.

5 comments:

Raff said...

Kinda angry rider there buddy.

int Moto-Hulk = 1;
int Cage = 2;

if(Moto-Hulk > Cage)
Response.Write("You Win");
else
Response.Write("You Hella Lose");

As you can see you have a very hard battle ahead of you, relax and enjoy the ride buddy.

Happy New Year

Lucky said...

Nah, I'm not an angry rider normally. I save it for special occasions.

You know, I've always got my code commented, but never had my comments coded before.

Beware the moto-nerds. We are everywhere.

Combatscoot said...

Where's nice Mr. Officer when you need him? You know, the one who SAYS he's getting tough on aggressive drivers?
John

Chris Cope said...

You should move to the UK, where a bike takes up most of the lane.

Lucky said...

mmmm... sweet, twisty, slippery-cobblestone euro roads.

I freakin' wish. Maybe in a few years.

Actually, I want to move to New Zealand. Tinkering in your shed is the national pastime down there, you know.