Lady Luck pointed out that I haven't really ever explained what the hell I'm so freaked out about, so I guess I'd better do that.
In two words: my job. See, on New Year's Eve (after getting a call essentially threatening to fire me at 12:10am), I decided it was time for a change. I got to work, and had a new job come February 1st. Excellent, right?
No.
See, I knew that the new job was going to be challenging. What good job isn't? And I knew that switching jobs would be stressful. But what I've wound up with is a job where my boss is super-demanding, the pressure is unbearable, and worst of all my boss doesn't think I'm earning my paychecks. He actually wants me to bill him (I'm a contract employee) for less than 40 hours a week, when I've been working closer to 50 hours.
The pressure last week was so intense that I could barely even sleep. This weekend, no shit, I heard a cell phone beeping and was filled with dread (near panic) thinking it was a call from work for me. The funny thing? I don't even have a cell phone.
I was ready to bail and try my luck getting a job counting matchsticks, but Lady Luck managed to talk me into waiting until I have another job before I quit. I've cranked up the job search efforts again, and hopefully I'll have a new gig by April 1.
Anyways, I've really got to learn how to mellow the hell out, because I can't let my crappy jobs ruin the rest of my life. I don't need to have a heart attack when I'm 35, either.
So! I hope that clears up why my posts have been so sporadic. With luck, things will get better soon and I'll be able to get back to my usual post-a-day style.
3 comments:
I understand the contract worker stress and fear. I've been living with it for over a year now. Plus, I'm burnt on Telecom and I want to change fields but no clue where to go or what to do.
It's tough to not let crappy jobs screw up your life. Just remember, you've got one outlet I don't. You can always go riding! My scoot is still being ressurected.
Hang in there, dude. I get that spun sometimes too. That is EXACTLY why Surly is my knickname. I got so worked up about my gig that I just became the asshole I didn't want to be. I didn't sleep well for about 8 years. Things are getting better. Hey, at least it's not 30 deg. outside.
I had pretty much the same problem with an old boss. He made my life miserable for a couple of years, hatin' life dreading work. Then I got promoted and changed departments. When I got the news, I felt like someone just rolled a giant boulder off of me. It will happen for ya, someone will come along and roll that giant boulder off you.
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