At Lady Luck's insistence, here's a deeper look at how a Vespa GTS, like a Triumph Street Triple, is a superior vehicle to a smart fortwo.
As we learned in my previous comparison, the smart fortwo is slow, lacking in standard features, dumb-looking, and gets ok-ish gas mileage for a really big golf cart.
The Vespa has a wee little 244cc motor, and can easily reach 75mph, even with a large, maniacally-grinning biker named Lucky aboard. It weighs 326 pounds, makes about 22 horsepower, and gets 65 - 70 mpg. There is convenient under-seat storage (nicknamed the puppy-warmer by those in the know), as well as a glove compartment in the front cowl and a luggage rack on the rear.
One can rack up a lot of miles on the Vespa before it gets uncomfortable. It's comfortable and capable when riding two-up, even when one of those two is a large, maniacal biker named Lucky. On top of all that, the Vespa is dead sexy. And you can get all of this awesomeness for the low, low price of $5,999 fresh off the Italian assembly line!
OK, so it takes 12.9 seconds to get to 60 mph. That's only 0.1 seconds slower than the smart fortwo, which costs twice as much, and has an engine four times larger. For shame, fortwo!
So get the Vespa, and quit being a huge sissy complaining about weather and traffic. There is no bad weather, only bad clothing. Learn to ride and you won't fear traffic.
And if you don't score after picking up your date on a Vespa, then you didn't want to spend any time with him/her anyway.