Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sometimes, You Gotta Be a Jerk

There are a wide variety of dumbasses out on the road, and some of them just tick me off. Cagers who want to race, in particular, annoy me. I think some of these people have control issues, and a "need" to be in front of everybody.

Yesterday I got cut off downtown by some dude in a grey Corolla/whatever-typical-sedan. That's fine. I mean, I don't appreciate getting cut off, but I can deal with it and not go into a fuming rage. I don't need to outrun anyone just to wait at another red light.

Anyway, sensible-auto-man cut me off. Naturally, that meant he had to wait at the red light longer than me. I changed lanes to be first in line at the light.

I was mildly amused to see him creeping forward, in order to stay in front of me a bit, as I reached the light.. I wasn't blocking his view of traffic (he couldn't turn left anyway, it's a one way street going the other way), which meant he just had to be ahead of me.

So I crept forward to see what he'd do.

He moved up.

I giggled madly and moved further ahead. He moved to match me. I could hear his little cager-control-freak-temper boiling. I knew he was going to want to tear ahead of me, so I revved my motor a few times to let him know he wasn't going to get by me.

Normally I wouldn't sit there revving my motor- just so we're clear - but sometimes you gotta be a jerk.

The light turned green and he tore off. I, meanwhile, rode ahead at a reasonable and prudent speed. After all, there was another red light a block down.

I laughed the whole way down the block.


James said...

I wrote about this in a college evolutionary biology class. I called it "Last Zebra Mentality". As social animals our survival when chased depended on not being the "last zebra". It is ok to be the second to last zebra and even better to be the first zebra (they oft get the mare along with not getting eaten by lions). These deep emotional urges are genetically hardwired in us and activated when we start moving at speed. Many people are not able to realize that they are acting on long lost instincts that are no longer relevant today. Instead of getting angry, you should really feel pity for the "unevolved".

Good Post.

Lucky said...

Truly, sometimes it's best to simply "pity the fool."

But sometimes it's more fun to screw with the fool. ;)

Reminds me of the joke about two hikers who spot a bear on the path ahead of them. One of them kicks off his hiking boots and puts on a pair of running shoes. His friend asks what he's doing, and the guy with the running shoes says "I don't have to out run the bear, just you."

Waka waka.