School is back in session here in Phoenix, and somehow that means that every jackass in the state needs to be out on the road again. During the summer, we get a respite from the slow-moving hordes of zombie sheep in SUVs, but once school resumes the dead rise again to clog the roadways in their Hummers and Expeditions.
Slow traffic, as you know, is a lot scarier and more dangerous than fast-moving traffic. The mocha-swilling vegetables start getting irate when traffic is slow. I'd rather stare down an angry elephant than face a half-awake, grouchy moron stuck in traffic in his/her Escalade. The elephant, after all, is predictable. And kind of cute.
Cages piloted by the walking dead, on the other hand, are entirely random and malicious. After two months of easy sailing, it's time for us sickle bums to sharpen up the reflexes and start paying extra close attention to traffic.
Stay safe out there, and don't let the zombies bite you.