Saturday, June 30, 2007

Moto Mind-Control

So the Triumph has been in the shop for far, far too long now. I brought it in recently for it's 12,000 mile service, and discovered it needs a new chain. Yay! And the shop needed to order the new parts to replace it. Double yay!

In place of the S4, I've been scooting about on the Vepsa for the last couple weeks. It's still fun.

I've noticed a lot more tailgaters and people getting too damn close to me at stoplights, as well as general fuckery on the part of the Phoenix cagers.

I've discovered two tricks that seem to work well for controlling the minds of the unwashed cager masses.

  • If you can't get out of the way of a tailgater (In the HOV lane, traffic next door is too slow to move over), start weaving in the lane. I don't know if this scares the asshats, or just makes them notice me, but 9 out of 10 times they back off.
  • At stoplights, keep an eye on your mirrors. When you see a cage approaching behind you, flash your brake lights a few times. I don't know why, but this really works for slowing them down and getting them to stop further back.
Incidentally, messing with tailgaters is great fun. On my way home recently, I wound up getting off the freeway directly behind someone who had been riding my ass. Due to the nimble handling and brisk acceleration of the Vespa, I was able to consistently maneuver my way ahead of this car for the rest of my ride home. I consciously stayed out of their lane (no need to let them ride my ass some more), but zipped ahead and through traffic.

The driver got so pissed. Really, you can't pay to have that much fun.


Steve Williams said...

I just never get to have any of those fun experiences here. I suppose there are not enough cages to reach the critical mass necessary for them to turn into complete asshats....

I have done the weaving thing out of boredom and noticed the cars drop further away. They probably think I am about to crash and are reaching for their cell phone cameras.

Steve Williams
Scooter in the Sticks

mtne said...

Ya know.......... for the money you give the shops to do even the basic stuff you can buy all the tools necessary to do them your self. And sad to say even with a steep learning curve, should you not be mechanically inclined, you will generally do an equal if not better job as it's your bike and your ass on that bike...... really that's how I got started.

mountain eagle

gary said...

HAH! Yesssss! You have discovered some of the secrets that make the GTS so much fun to ride in city traffic.

By the way, I have given up flipping people the bird. That is SO passe... I have a new hand signal that really confuses them, and by the time they figure it out and get properly offended, Rose and I are out of range.

Imagine the motion you would use in flicking away a bug, or a cigarrette butt. You pull up in front of them, either in their lane or the one to their right, and give them The Flick.

Then you speed off through gaps in the traffic they cannot follow, or turn off at the next street, whichever is appropriate to the situation.

The message, of course, is that cages are no more menacing to you than an insect, and you can dispose of them at will in traffic.

The fun just goes on and on...

Ride well,

Combatscoot said...

I like the three-finger wave. Takes them awhile to realize it means "READ BETWEEN THE LINES".

Lucky said...

Steve - In the sticks, no one can hear you scoot.

mtne - I do believe that's the way I'm going to have to go.

Gary & John - Ahh, the booger-flick. I've never been one for giving people the bird. I do, however, give cheery/sarcastic waves depending on the circumstances.