"There's Poop On My Windshield Wiper!" - Buono's Pizza Review

The place: Buono's Pizza, 2023 W Guadalupe Rd, Mesa, AZ
The posse: Lucky, Lady Luck, Baldy-Beard, Bo
The pie: Pepperoni and Extra Cheese

Buono's was a surprise discovery. I heard, as I was trying to choose a restaurant to review, that the pizza was amazing, the place is a dive, and they have a pinball machine. Plus they were relatively close to home. I need a new front tire, so the "close to home" part was important to me (the next review will be a longer ride. Really!).

It turns out that not only does Buono's have a pinball machine, they also have a car racing game. Truly, they know what makes a good pizza joint.

I'm going to try a new rating system. Instead of the thumb system, I'm going to use a 1 - 5 rating system. The rating will be "Crying Luckies," as in, how upset I was when the pizza was gone. Let me know what you think.

Crust - The crust was good. Chewy, buttery but not sickening. A respectable topping transport. 3.5 Crying Luckies

Toppings - The pepperoni was super smoky tasting. In fact, it reminded me of bacon. The cheese was good, although my definition of "extra cheese" and Buono's definition were drastically different. Scant quantities of cheese aside, the toppings were darn good.
4 Crying Luckies

Sauce - Good stuff. Buono's serves a new york style pizza, so it's pretty light on the sauce. It was kind of sweet, but balanced with plenty of spicy.
4 Crying Luckies

Ambiance - This place was a shithole. Perfect. Bad lighting, poorly decorated, scuzzy tables, it's almost like they had me in mind! The staff were very helpful, but not "friendly" in that Applebee's sort of way. So if you like an "Office Space" type restaurant experience, this isn't the place to go.

We overheard some kids playing the racing game while we were eating. One of them yelled "There's poop on my windshield wiper!"


Props should also be given to Buono's for having a poster of a Ninja Turtle. 4 crying luckies.

Overall rating: 4 Crying Luckies. I will definitely go back to this place.

I contemplated telling a lie and saying that I took a long, twisty and incredibly fun route to get to Buono's, but the fact is I just took a couple of very straight roads with lots of stoplights and yuppies in BMWs and SUVs cutting me off at every opportunity. Like I said, next time the ride will be longer, and have pictures.