Urban Water Crossing

Something about the road didn't seem quite right on Thursday. It seemed unusually... shiny.

And it was moving.

I wondered briefly if perhaps sleep deprivation had finally caught up with me and if I'd be better off pulling over or seeing where this strange trip was going to take me.

Then a car coming towards me splashed through and I realized there was, in fact, water in epic quantities flowing across the road. I'm not sure what those construction workers did, but I'm guessing they messed up in a big way.

It didn't look terribly deep when the car has splashed it's way through, so I rode on, through the new, rushing, urban rapids and on towards destiny. That is to say, work. The water was deeper than I'd anticipated.

When I emerged from the flowing water, unscathed and mostly dry, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, riding through flowing water had been an incredibly stupid decision. For one thing, the water could have been hiding a multitude of hazards and, worse, I don't really know exactly how one goes about making a water crossing on a motorcycle. Especially a street bike.

So, what would you do faced with an unexpected water crossing? Or even an expected one. I know some of you are into that kind of thing.

Just For Giggles Is A Perfectly Valid Reason For Early Morning Hooliganism

Some mornings, a biker just needs to lean his motorcycle way the hell over through a left turn and see how high of an exit speed he can achieve. And some mornings, that biker also needs to lean way the hell over through a right turn and see how high of an exit speed he can achieve while staying in the rightmost lane.

Yeah, dragging a knee in office clothes isn't the best idea when you've got a morning meeting with clients, but sometimes a little extra grime and a bit of fraying that wasn't there yesterday is exactly what a rider needs to break free of existential gravity, as Gary calls it.

At the very least, it's worth a shot. There's nothing like a little dose of freedom to help you stay sane on your way in to the office.

A couple of hard turns with excessive lean certainly helped me stay awake a while longer than I would have had I ridden at a more leisurely pace this morning. Accelerating hard up the on ramp into traffic even loosened up my concrete scowl enough to let a small smile break through.

And that is why riding to work is awesome.

I look away for two seconds and this happens

Seriously? A bill requiring police to determine whether someone is legally in the United States? And, somehow, this is not going to lead to racial profiling?

The only way I can think of this bill not causing racial profiling is if police ask everyone for their papers. And I'm not comfortable with that either.

Furthermore, this law is going to cause illegal immigrants to be even more afraid to contact the police.

Here's hoping this dumb bill gets repealed quickly.

Boring Status Update

I decided I should really add labels to my posts. And I've only got like 5 years to go through! Hang tight for TGMPT improvements!

And a new post as soon as I can whip one up. Things have been crazy-go-nuts around here.

Gone Flyin'

So through an interesting set of circumstances (but not so interesting that I'm going to explain) I won a ride in a Piper Cub. Today I went flying with a retired airline captain.

It was one of the cooler things I've done, and I do a lot of cool shit.

One of the cool things about the Piper Cub is that the plane can happily fly with the doors wide open. So, it was a lot like being on the Triumph, only at 500 - 1000 feet off the ground. Low and slow is awesome.

Although he promised to let me take the controls, he forgot until after we'd landed. To be honest, I didn't mind. It'd be too much like riding some other guy's prized motorcycle.

No-Fail Solution for Helmet Hair

Clippers, number one guard. Hair that's 1/8 of an inch long means your helmet just can't mess it up. Looks good on men and women, although I have to admit it's still sort of a daring hairstyle for women, in some circles.

But the benefits are numerous: no time-consuming shampooing, styling, bad hair days, problems finding hats that fit...

And it feels freakin' great in the summer.

Helmet hair, believe it or not, is a big factor in whether or not some folks will ride to work. So, stop worrying about it. Cut it all off.

Why, what do you do?

Benchmark Hunting for Fun and, Well, Just Fun

Back in college, I was briefly in the Honors program. They kicked me out because of my filthy biker tendencies.* But while I was still in good with the smart kids, I took a Geography course. Being an officially sanctioned smart kid meant I got to do more homework than the plain old state university kids. A whole bunch more homework, in fact.** In the Geography course, that meant we had to do a special project on top of all the other work.

For some reason, one of the first things we learned about were these odd, usually metal, usually round things called Benchmarks the U.S. government stuck all over the place to keep track of elevation and so on. You can spot them on topographical maps, marked with a BM. I was, of course, intrigued.

Through one of those quirks of fate, one of my smart kid classmates was also curious about them. And lived in my hall in the dorms. And liked seeking out adventure and getting into trouble.

So, we proposed our project: hunting down geodetic benchmarks in the county around the university. We checked out a stack of topographical maps from the library, made a list of which ones to try and find,*** and set sail for discovery!

We didn't have a compass, and this was well before normal folks could afford GPS devices, but if you've ever looked at a large scale topographical map, you really don't need either. GPS geeks seem to groove to benchmark hunting as a use for their spendy gadget. I'm sure it's a blast. However, if you're paying the slightest bit of attention, you probably won't even need a compass to find the benchmarks.

It ends up feeling like treasure hunting, because frequently the benchmark is on the map, but doesn't exist in real life (or it's some object the untrained eye won't recognize as a benchmark). Of twenty benchmarks we searched for, I think we found about twelve.

We got an A on our project for going out, driving around, climbing under bridges, walking along railroad tracks, talking to horse ranchers, hearing warning shots from a corn farmer and taking a few photos.

We explored just about everywhere within a 20 mile radius of the school due to our hunt for benchmarks. It was enough fun that we talked about doing it just for giggles after the class had ended. We never got around to it, though (filthy biker tendencies...).

The other day I was out hiking with Lady Luck and couple friends and I stumbled across a benchmark. So, I snapped a photo, and thought about how much fun it had been tracking the weird little things down.

So I'm thinking about getting some topographical maps and using them as an excuse to get out riding and exploring Phoenix. And if you need some structure to your rides, why not try tracking down benchmarks?

*But mostly because of one vile English teacher who decided I couldn't write and gave me a bad grade. Look at me now, hag!

**The payoff was extremely relaxed Gen. Ed. requirements, which meant us smarties could study whatever we grooved on and still get Gen. Ed. credits.

***Our criteria was "close enough to a road that we wouldn't have to find a legal parking spot in order to search for it."

Desert Riding and the Issue of Water

Heat has returned to Phoenix. This afternoon, I hate to admit, we had to turn the air conditioner on so we could work in the back room of our house. Our home has a western exposure, and the bedrooms turn into ovens in the afternoon.

Yesterday, we went out for a quick walk along a trail in the desert (I hate to call it hiking) with some friends. I brought two liters of water in my backpack. Lady Luck and I managed to drink half of it while we were out walking.

The desert sucks moisture right out of you. You lose water from breathing, sweating, and I think some of it just up and leaves. Dehydration is a real danger, especially for bikers and other people stuck exerting themselves in the sun.

To be honest, once the peak heat of summer hits, I don't ride much unless I'm commuting or it's dark out. On quick little rides, one can sort of get away with not having a water supply. It's stupid, but I've gotten away with not carrying water because water is readily available at either end of the trip. I'm planning to do some motorcycle camping this summer, and a long trip up to Colorado in the end of June. Those will be significantly longer rides. I'm not going to be able to avoid the heat, it seems.

As a man with, uh, a very active cooling system, I'm going to need significant amounts of water handy to keep from getting dehydrated. I've been considering investing in some dromedary bags. I suspect a few of you use them and maybe even like them. Which ones are well-suited to motorcycling? Do you carry them on your back, or in a tank bag?

Essential Motorcycle Gear - Appropriate Clothing for Your Climate

When I rode to Los Alamos back in the end of April, 2008, I made a major mistake in my planning. I forgot to see what the weather was like in New Mexico. Here in Phoenix, it was plenty warm. So, I wore my Joe Rocket Phoenix jacket, and threw a hoodie in my tank bag in case it got cooler at the higher elevations. I only brought my summer gloves.

Man, did I blow it. I was comfortable for about an hour on the way to Payson. Then I put my hoodie on and I was comfortable for maybe another hour.

Then it was 5 hours of Hell to Albuquerque. I was able to hide behind the tank bag a little bit. It blocked some of the wind, but not much. The road to Los Alamos was worse. There was still snow on the ground! On the ride back to Phoenix I stopped to buy a pair of gloves at a gas station because I just couldn't take anymore cold on my hands.

The good news is that I survived, got a story out of it, and learned a valuable lesson: wear/bring climate-appropriate riding clothes.

My current collection of gear is as follows: A leather jacket for the winter. I wear a fleece jacket instead of using the leather jacket's liner in the gold. Fleece, as most of you know, is absolutely awesome and I recommend it to everyone. Sadly, the zipper on my leather broke a couple weeks ago, and I'm going to have to find a seamstress to repair it. Right now I'm wearing my fleece under the Joe Rocket Phoenix jacket during the morning. Once it starts getting warmer, I don't need the fleece.

My Joe Rocket jacket is getting pretty funky, and I might have to replace it soon. I'm not sure what to replace it with, though. The Phoenix feels like you're not even wearing a jacket, so long as you're moving. Here in the desert, stopping during the summer is going to cause suffering no matter what you wear.

I have a small confession to make: I don't have proper riding pants. I would LOVE to get a pair, but I'm seeking protection that I can wear over my work pants without arriving at work a sweaty mess. And, barring that, I have no idea what will provide adequate protection and reasonable comfort during the summer here. If you've got suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

This summer, I plan on getting some of those high-tech polypropylene underwear and t-shirts that supposedly wick moisture away from the skin. Nothing is quite as gross as a clammy t-shirt in air-conditioning after a hot ride. In addition to those luxury items, I've heard good things about cooling vests and bandannas soaked in water and wrapped around one's neck.

Did I miss anything?

Motorcycle-Enforced Minimalism

In my recent musings on the subject of motorcycle luggage, I think I mentioned my main annoyance with the various options available is the hassle of carrying stuff around. Having my hands full with a helmet, gloves and a bag of some sort drives me nuts. As such, I've got a very minimal list of things I bring with me, and every single one of those items has been closely examined. Each item has to prove its utility, or it's getting left in the garage.

My motorcycling habit forces me to consider what is essential, and what is superfluous. I think it's great.

Back in those dark days before I owned a motorcycle, I made do with the Rat Buick. It was a great car - you know, for a car - and it had an absolutely enormous trunk. You know those mob movies where they've got three bodies and a 55 gallon drum of lye in the trunk? That's how big the trunk of the Buick was.

It rapidly became my rolling storage solution. That might have been a good thing if all my trunk space were filled with items of utility. But, really, it was a bunch of stuff I meant to bring to Goodwill and various trash I'd been too lazy to throw away.

I don't have anything I've been too lazy to get rid of with me when I ride the Triumph.

I'm planning to do some motorcycle camping this summer, with at least one extended trip to Colorado, as well as some backpacking (hopefully)*. As such, I've been researching what is needed and what is extra weight, and the best way to haul the gear I need around on the Triumph. What I've discovered is that what one needs, and what one wants is the difference between 30 pounds of gear and 50 pounds.

The thought of schlepping an extra twenty pounds around is enough to make me consider every item and its proper stowage twice. I'd rather carry the stuff I know I need, and maybe one or two luxury (sanity) items than a bunch of crap I think I might want. And riding to work every day will make items with no purpose immediately apparent.

*I know a couple of you are backpackers. Do any of you use your motorcycle to go backpacking? If so, how do you manage your pack on the bike?

Zombie Apocalypse Averted by Prepared Biker

Yeah, I'm awesome. Please line up to the right for high fives.

OK, so here in the real world, I think the Zombie Apocalypse is pretty unlikely. I mean, it's good to be prepared, but I kind of expect the walking dead to just congregate around shopping malls and Ikea and leave me the hell alone.

All the same, preparing for the worst case scenario is a good exercise in order to be ready for mundane annoyances. Irritation, after all, is far more likely than cataclysm.

Not that I'll admit to that in public, you understand. This is between us, OK?

Lady Luck and I went up to Flagstaff, AZ for the weekend. We stayed at the Little America Hotel. Generally speaking, we've had good experiences at that hotel. This weekend, however, was an exception.

Zombies, you know?

Well, OK, the dead have not (yet) risen and taken over scenic Flagstaff. However, the power in the hotel went out for a solid 10 hours. This was, of course, in the evening. After a day of causing trouble, we got back to a very dark, and very spooky Little America Hotel. It seems silly now, but being in a dark, silent hotel is quite unnerving. I blame Stephen King.

Anyway, because I am one prepared fellow, I had a flashlight with me. The front desk loaned us oil lamps, but the wicks were too short to give off any significant light. The wicks were also too short to grab bare-fingered. Being a good Moto-Scout, I had on my belt a Leatherman PST, which just so happens to have needle-nose pliers built in. I had the wicks adjusted in seconds, and we had enough light to avoid stubbing our toes on random furniture lurking in the dark.

...Too bad I didn't have a source of fire. This was quickly remedied (before getting back to the room, actually), as the gas station across the street still had plenty of electricity. I've now added a Bic lighter to my list of Every Day Carry items. I plan to wrap a few feet of duct tape around it as well. You never know when you might need to stick something to another thing and then light them both on fire.

So, I guess this really wasn't a gripping tale of survival against overwhelming odds equipped with nothing but a paperclip and a Swiss Army Knife, but having a few basic items with me saved us from a miserable evening in a dark, silent, hotel room. Prepare for the worst, so you can easily deal with the annoying.

This, of course, applies to motorcycles and most any other situation. The best time to have a tire repair kit is before you need it. Same with band-aids, water and chewing gum.