This guy built a wooden Vespa.
He's my new hero.
When is someone going to build a wooden Ducati superbike?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Cold Weather Challenge
This video was brought to my attention by sometimes-commenter Noam Sayin'.
I like it.
I like it.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Getting Cut Off
Traffic was thick when I merged on to the freeway this morning. As I puttered along, some dork in an red Jeep cut me off. Well, really, he attempted to invade my personal bubble, but I got out of his way in time.
My formal process for handling the situation follows:
1. Yell "Shit!"
2. Apply brakes / initiate evasive maneuver
3. Watch asshat in SUV obliviously relocate into my lane
4. Contemplate bloody retribution
5. Get centered behind asshat's rear view mirror and flash my brights a few times
6. Cool off again
7. Point and laugh as I inevitably pass the asshat who doesn't know how to pick a lane.
What do you guys do?
My formal process for handling the situation follows:
1. Yell "Shit!"
2. Apply brakes / initiate evasive maneuver
3. Watch asshat in SUV obliviously relocate into my lane
4. Contemplate bloody retribution
5. Get centered behind asshat's rear view mirror and flash my brights a few times
6. Cool off again
7. Point and laugh as I inevitably pass the asshat who doesn't know how to pick a lane.
What do you guys do?
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Weirdest Weekend
I don't know if you heard about it or not, but the full moon on Saturday was supposed to be the largest full moon of the year. We went with a few friends in their 4x4 trucks out to the middle of nowhere to watch the giant moon rise over the mountains.
Incidentally, the middle of nowhere is where everybody goes to shoot and set off dynamite. Seriously. We took an exciting dirt road way back into the desert. Only a couple hundred yards from the highway was the first group of guys shooting pumpkins and other assorted targets.
By my count, we passed at least ten groups of shooters at different locations. We finally found a good spot. It was littered with spent shotgun shells and rifle brass. We could clearly hear two different groups of shooters the whole time we were there. At one point there was a gigantic boom, and we realized someone had set off dynamite.
And here I thought M-80 firecrackers were nifty.
Anyway, the moon rose. It was big. We cheered, took some photos, packed up and left.
Which brings us to yesterday. For the most part, I hid in my house avoiding the world. Eventually I had to leave, however, to go to the tobacconist and the grocery store. At the tobacco shop, there was a movie playing on one of the TVs (seriously, can't a man escape television even at the tobacco shop?) and 6 or so guys watching it with totally blank looks on their faces. Disturbing. The clerks were not their usual chatty, helpful selves and I got out of there as quickly as I could.
The oddity at the grocery store topped the tobacco shop, however. I went inside and noticed the store was kind of quiet for how many people were in there. Then I noticed the people were a little... different. There was a lot of shuffling. Staggering. The odd groan. Sunken cheeks and meth addict teeth. Vacant stares. Incoherent muttering.
My immediate thought was, "Shit! Zombies!"
They were everywhere.
Once I recovered from my zombie-apocalypse-induced panic attack, I realized the store was not full of zombies, but it was full of people with a variety of people on their way to the bottom of the uncanny valley.
I got my Oreos and milk and made for the cash registers.
Ahead of me in line was a woman in ratty sweatpants and a t-shirt which had seen better days. Those better days must have been twenty years ago. She gave me a fearful look, then turned away. I stayed back and tried to look nonthreatening.
While I waited in line, I noticed this woman was only buying a bottle of Suave shampoo. It's hard to explain, but the entire scene seemed sad. The woman looked absolutely horrified through the entire transaction, and had her hands clasped together in front of her face with her arms tucked tightly into her sides. The cashier explained as kindly as possible how to count out the dollar and eight cents from her handful of change. I got the impression she needed an entire lifetime of hugs.
So, after all that weirdness, it's good to be back at work where the level of insanity is constant and predictable.
Incidentally, the middle of nowhere is where everybody goes to shoot and set off dynamite. Seriously. We took an exciting dirt road way back into the desert. Only a couple hundred yards from the highway was the first group of guys shooting pumpkins and other assorted targets.
By my count, we passed at least ten groups of shooters at different locations. We finally found a good spot. It was littered with spent shotgun shells and rifle brass. We could clearly hear two different groups of shooters the whole time we were there. At one point there was a gigantic boom, and we realized someone had set off dynamite.
And here I thought M-80 firecrackers were nifty.
Anyway, the moon rose. It was big. We cheered, took some photos, packed up and left.
Which brings us to yesterday. For the most part, I hid in my house avoiding the world. Eventually I had to leave, however, to go to the tobacconist and the grocery store. At the tobacco shop, there was a movie playing on one of the TVs (seriously, can't a man escape television even at the tobacco shop?) and 6 or so guys watching it with totally blank looks on their faces. Disturbing. The clerks were not their usual chatty, helpful selves and I got out of there as quickly as I could.
The oddity at the grocery store topped the tobacco shop, however. I went inside and noticed the store was kind of quiet for how many people were in there. Then I noticed the people were a little... different. There was a lot of shuffling. Staggering. The odd groan. Sunken cheeks and meth addict teeth. Vacant stares. Incoherent muttering.
My immediate thought was, "Shit! Zombies!"
They were everywhere.
Once I recovered from my zombie-apocalypse-induced panic attack, I realized the store was not full of zombies, but it was full of people with a variety of people on their way to the bottom of the uncanny valley.
I got my Oreos and milk and made for the cash registers.
Ahead of me in line was a woman in ratty sweatpants and a t-shirt which had seen better days. Those better days must have been twenty years ago. She gave me a fearful look, then turned away. I stayed back and tried to look nonthreatening.
While I waited in line, I noticed this woman was only buying a bottle of Suave shampoo. It's hard to explain, but the entire scene seemed sad. The woman looked absolutely horrified through the entire transaction, and had her hands clasped together in front of her face with her arms tucked tightly into her sides. The cashier explained as kindly as possible how to count out the dollar and eight cents from her handful of change. I got the impression she needed an entire lifetime of hugs.
So, after all that weirdness, it's good to be back at work where the level of insanity is constant and predictable.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
British Motorcycle Club Documentary
I'm not exactly sure what I think about this, but I guess the important thing is they're on bikes...
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Cars Suck
This morning I arrived at work to find a message on my office phone, as well as a couple of missed calls on my cell, from Lady Luck. Our car's power steering hose had popped loose - again - leaving a huge mess on the driveway and making it impossible to steer the car.
This has happened four times now, over the last several years.
See, I think a repair shop I foolishly trusted did a crap job of repairing the broken power steering line. There is now a hose, with clamps, holding the two ends of the metal line together. I don't think that's quite right, but it does do the job - usually - in a ratty sort of way.
The last time this happened, I made sure the hose clamp that kept coming loose was on there as tight as possible. I double-checked it the last time I changed the oil, and it was still tight as could be.
So, I rode home again to fix the car, and stopped on the way to buy power steering fluid. I didn't bring my bag with me, so I had to stuff the bottles in my jacket.
This time, the other hose clamp had popped loose. I was already ornery because I hadn't had my coffee yet, so the discovery did not improve my mood (if I'd tightened the other clamp when I was under there last time, it wouldn't have been a problem, right? Live and learn.).
Fortunately, after performing this repair several times now, I've got the hang of it and it takes more time to get the car up on the jack and full of power steering fluid than it does to fix the problem.
Incidentally, I really like that Pennzoil's power steering fluid is blue - it made it a lot easier to tell the hose was still leaking. If it had been clear, the new fluid would have been hard to spot in the puddle of old fluid.
On the upside of all this, I got 60 miles of riding in already today, and Lady Luck made me some toast while I was home.
This has happened four times now, over the last several years.
See, I think a repair shop I foolishly trusted did a crap job of repairing the broken power steering line. There is now a hose, with clamps, holding the two ends of the metal line together. I don't think that's quite right, but it does do the job - usually - in a ratty sort of way.
The last time this happened, I made sure the hose clamp that kept coming loose was on there as tight as possible. I double-checked it the last time I changed the oil, and it was still tight as could be.
So, I rode home again to fix the car, and stopped on the way to buy power steering fluid. I didn't bring my bag with me, so I had to stuff the bottles in my jacket.
This time, the other hose clamp had popped loose. I was already ornery because I hadn't had my coffee yet, so the discovery did not improve my mood (if I'd tightened the other clamp when I was under there last time, it wouldn't have been a problem, right? Live and learn.).
Fortunately, after performing this repair several times now, I've got the hang of it and it takes more time to get the car up on the jack and full of power steering fluid than it does to fix the problem.
Incidentally, I really like that Pennzoil's power steering fluid is blue - it made it a lot easier to tell the hose was still leaking. If it had been clear, the new fluid would have been hard to spot in the puddle of old fluid.
On the upside of all this, I got 60 miles of riding in already today, and Lady Luck made me some toast while I was home.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Creaky Joints
Why didn't anyone tell me the cold would make my joints all creaky when I reached my 30's?
Not that I would have listened. I've been laughing at my creaking knees after riding in to work in the practically arctic temperatures (mid-30's) we've had recently. I'm thinking it might be time to invest in a pair of double-front Carhartt's for the chilly days. Or battery-powered, knee sized heating pads. My knees are, after all, out in the breeze on the Triumph. It's almost enough to make a fella lust after one of those fully-faired touring bikes.
Almost, but not quite.
Not that I would have listened. I've been laughing at my creaking knees after riding in to work in the practically arctic temperatures (mid-30's) we've had recently. I'm thinking it might be time to invest in a pair of double-front Carhartt's for the chilly days. Or battery-powered, knee sized heating pads. My knees are, after all, out in the breeze on the Triumph. It's almost enough to make a fella lust after one of those fully-faired touring bikes.
Almost, but not quite.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Staring Down The New Year
I've heard a whole bunch of people saying they're glad 2008 is over, and what a terrible year it was.
I dunno, I thought 2008 kicked ass. I mean, I can't personally do anything about Wall Street, real estate, fuel prices or Alaskan governors, so I've been pretty focused on making sure that I am awesome. And when I take care of number one, when I don't let things I can't control affect me, I have a damn good time.
Last year's resolution was "live awesome," and that's what I did. I made it out to Los Alamos twice, went up the Oregon coast, actually bought a scooter and fixed it up to sell (we'll get it sold this year), handled some parrots, and wrote another novel. I rock!
If I had a resolution for this year, it would be "outdo last year."
Oh, and "get a sweet custom van."
I dunno, I thought 2008 kicked ass. I mean, I can't personally do anything about Wall Street, real estate, fuel prices or Alaskan governors, so I've been pretty focused on making sure that I am awesome. And when I take care of number one, when I don't let things I can't control affect me, I have a damn good time.
Last year's resolution was "live awesome," and that's what I did. I made it out to Los Alamos twice, went up the Oregon coast, actually bought a scooter and fixed it up to sell (we'll get it sold this year), handled some parrots, and wrote another novel. I rock!
If I had a resolution for this year, it would be "outdo last year."
Oh, and "get a sweet custom van."
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