Beer Ads That Make Me Want the Beer Less

I dunno, maybe these ads were effective at the time...



What we can take away from this ad: Drink Schlitz and you too can bump hips with your friends and lip synch into your beer bottle.

Because that's cool.

Moving on, here's this little abomination





What we can take away from this ad: Drink Schlitz and you too can be led on by an invisible woman who will steal your hog, leaving you with nothing but your FOUR-PACK of beer and a bad Boston song stuck in your head.

Gee, sign me up for that one...

Ok, one last video:




Amazingly enough, this one actually makes me want the beer. Why don't they make more ads like this one?

Suzuki VX800 - The Ongoing Repair Saga

Those of you who've been following my blog for a while know that the VX800 has been down for a long, long time. It isn't that it's horribly out of order (that I know of), it's just that I keep getting distracted by other shiny things and forget to work on it for months at a time.

Anyway, a buddy of mine from Denver came down in December and helped me a bunch with trying to fix a nasty coolant leak. The leak, for those of you who want to know, comes from the plate on the left side of the image. You can see the coolant leavin's if you look closely. What made the work so difficult was that one of the bolts we needed to get to was nigh-impossible to reach. Getting the thing out wasn't too bad because loosening a bolt gets easier as you go. So, he left, with the bolt still sticking out a bit.

That was totally OK, by the way, because this guy proved he's way, way more hardcore when it comes to all things motorcycle than I am by sitting out in my garage next to a ratty old Suzuki only a few days after having surgery on his knee.

I just remembered to go out in the garage tonight and work on it some more. So, I sat down and took a good hard look at the bolt. It isn't visible in the picture, but it's on the right side, behind the coolant hose. I could get my 8mm wrench on it, but I couldn't actually turn the wrench due to other motor components rudely obstructing its movement.

So, mildly defeated, I sat back and took a good look at the area. And I noticed that if I took the plate on the left off and removed the hose, I'd have easy access to that bolt. Assembly order can kick you in the pants if you aren't careful.

I grabbed my trusty 8mm wrench and went after the top bolt on the left. Almost immediately, the darn bolt head started to round off. Remembering the nightmare of rounded bolt removal I had previously encountered, I just stopped for the evening, and resolved to attack again later with an 8mm socket and a universal joint.

So, my efforts have been delayed again, but I have new hope of getting the VX on the road again. I know Lady Luck is dying to find out what it's like to ride a big motorcycle, and I kind of miss it's torque-laden V-twin charm.

Manly Beer Review - Pabst Blue Ribbon

As a recovering beer-snob, it pains me to admit that I used to shun Pabst Blue Ribbon without having ever tried it. Friends and loved ones would tell me it was awful, and I just took their word for it instead of trying it out for myself.

A while back, I bought myself a six-pack, expecting that I'd have one and the rest would sit unopened until I finally gave up and poured it down the drain. The weird thing is, it's pretty darn good beer.

Pabst Blue Ribbon, or as those of us in the know call it, PBR, used to be a fairly popular beer. They peaked, as so many other manly beers did, in the 1970's. In the early 2000's, the PBR market started to turn around, in a small way. Working-class and countercultural beer drinkers adopted this fine beer as their own. Pabst execs, curious about their growth in sales, researched the trend (in order to find out how they might sell MORE beer). They found that PBR drinkers, on the whole, do not like being marketed to.

In a display of supreme class, the execs decided that they'd just keep making it, and their fans would keep drinking it. Pabst marketing has been extremely low-key; they sponsor an event here and there, and that's about it.

How does it taste? Good! PBR is a refreshing beer, perfect for pizza, garages, yard work, and any other occasion that a drinkable beer is required. It's well-balanced, with just a slight bitter aftertaste. If you were to pour it into a glass (only forgivable if the glass is big enough to hold multiple beers), you would likely admire its dark golden color and reasonably thick head.

Pabst Blue Ribbon is easily found in both cans (the beverage conveyance of choice for guys who do their drinking in the garage) and long neck bottles. I usually get cans, but this time around I bought bottles because I could get an 18 pack for $8.99. That's only $0.49 per bottle for a damn fine beer! The bottle caps, incidentally, each have a card suit and number on the inside. I'm not sure why those are there (and why are they on my coffee cups sometimes?), but I can tell you that with PBR, even a junk hand is a winner.

Many bars have adopted PBR as their low-cost beer, which is a wonderful thing. I went to a concert at a local club recently, and had to pay $5 for a Budweiser. Now, tasty as Budweiser may be, it is not a $5 beer. For my next drink, I got a PBR. It was only $2, and tasted better than the Bud as well! Lucky approves.

In short, Pabst Blue Ribbon is a surprisingly good beer for dirt-cheap. Get some, and if anyone hassles you about it, don't let them have any.


Here are some of my previous Manly Beer Reviews:

Michelob Lager
Miller High Life
Schlitz

Handy Link to Regional Pizza Styles

I found a link to this over on Boing Boing. It's a great, comprehensive article.

A List of Regional Pizza Styles - From Slice

When It's Probably Best Not To Ride

Motorcycles are certainly the greatest form of transportation, but there are a few times when even the most dedicated, year-round rider should choose another travel mode. Here are a few of those:

If you're going to be drinking. Drink or Ride. Riding a motorcycle is a complicated task, requiring quick wits, skill and coordination. Drinking is fine, just don't combine it with motorcycles. Besides safety, vices are best enjoyed individually.

If you're participating in another high-adrenaline activity. I've learned that I really should not ride to the gun range, for example. Getting on a bike when your adrenaline is already pumping leads to riding at 70 miles per hour on a surface street into the back of a stopped truck. A lot of us riders have thrill issues as it is. Too much of a good thing isn't always an awesome thing.

If you're sick. Nothing is worse than not being able to ride because of a rotten cold. All the same, stay off the bike when you have a rotten cold. There are two reasons for this.

One, riding is complicated, and requires quick wits, etc. When you're sick, you're mostly concerned about your stuffy nose, sore throat, aching head and not the java-swilling, cellphone-yapping, lane-weaving moron barreling at you in a Lincoln Navigator.

Two, there are a lot of vile things that always choose the worst time to come shooting out of your head when you're sick. Do you really want to contend with that while wearing a helmet?

When you need to get somewhere fast. If you need to get somewhere in a hurry, it's probably best to take the car. Sure, bikes are nimble and can achieve a high velocity, but if you're in a rush, are you really thinking about what's going on around you?

Other than that, get on your darn bike and ride.

Can you think of any other times when it's best not to ride? Post your thoughts in the comments!

Getting Fit for Moto-Safety

I have many, many reasons to make some kind of exercise a part of my regular routine. My day job consists of sitting in front of a computer for the entire day. Now that I carpool, I don't even have the walk from the parking garage (a block and a half away) to the office and back. I'm tired a lot of the time, and I think getting more exercise will probably help my energy levels. Plus, I've always been an active guy, and I miss a lot of the stuff I used to do.

In addition, being in shape decreases the risk of injury when one does things like falling down the stairs, or (hopefully not any time soon) falling off a motorcycle.

Now, for me, exercise has to be an activity that I want to do. If I enjoy an activity, I will go out of my way to participate in that activity. It's also helpful if I can do the majority of my exercise at home, or within walking/running/bicycling distance of home. So, I've been researching and trying body weight exercises. I bought a jump rope, which has thus far kicked my ass - in a totally positive way - every time I've used it.

You know what else is fun? Hitting things. And I can hit things close to home, provided I have an appropriate target.

Many of my friends study various martial arts, primarily Taekwondo. Personally, I have no interest in Taekwondo. High kicking just isn't me. I have had a quiet interest in boxing for a long time, however. Recently, I realized that I could, y'know, learn to box.

As it is, boxing is perfect for what I want to achieve: I can do most of the training at home, or close by. There are minimal equipment needs for a boxer. And, I'll get into shape pretty quickly so long as I can stay disciplined about training. I'm not interested in competing, just getting into fighting shape.

Boxing is an ideal training activity for motorcyclists, as well. It develops mental toughness, quick reflexes, an ability to think on one's feet, not to mention that a big part of the training is preparing to get beat all to hell without being injured. Many motorcyclists already have a warrior mindset, anyway, so it's not that much of a stretch.

Anyway, being carved out of wood isn't really a motivating thought for me, but bouncing back up off the road if I crash is. Proper gear on the outside is good, but it'll be good to be ready for a beating underneath my armor as well.

Zachary's Pizza - Ride Report and Pizza Review!

Zachary's Pizza
1028 E 6th St
Tucson, AZ 85719
(520) 623-6323

Since I had a long weekend, a road trip of some distance was in order. I needed to spend several hours in the saddle anyway, since I've only been riding a paltry forty miles (on average) each week.
On Saturday, Lady Luck pushed me out the door, shoved my helmet into my hands, and told me I'd better not come back until well after dark.

Apparently I've been a little grouchy due to how little I've ridden recently.

I'd been meaning to ride to Tucson and do a pizza review anyway, so it seemed like a good opportunity to check out this place "Zachary's Pizza" that I'd heard about. I mapped out my route, grabbed a camera and set out for a three hour pre-lunch ride.

I wanted to avoid taking the 10 to Tucson. Sure, it's fast(ish) and easy to navigate, but it's also one of the most terrifying roads in Arizona. There is a ton of traffic, 24 hours a day, bunched together so tightly that evasive maneuvering is impossible.

Apart from the "certain death-iness" of the 10, it's just a boring ride. It's almost entirely straight between here and Tucson, and those of us who ride motorcycles of a sporting nature prefer our roads curvy.

I opted to entirely avoid freeways, which was a poor choice in hindsight. I spent half an hour just getting to highway 87. I rode on 87 to 77, until I reached W. Fort Lowell Road.

The desert is beautiful, but even in winter it is an unforgiving beauty. The vegetation along the highways would love to snag your skin and leave a long scar on your arm. Guess how I learned that lesson. I passed through some farm country as well. Here in Arizona, we mainly grow cotton and cattle. Cotton, if you didn't know, is one ugly plant. Of course, the cotton itself looks like snow, giving a rider the impression that winter has hit Arizona unusually hard this year.

In fact, I passed through an intersection where a great deal of cotton had spilled. I braced myself momentarily, expecting a slushy, snowy mess to get my adrenaline pumping. Of course, it was only cotton, dry and easily avoided. I was grateful it was only cotton, and not steel wool on the road. We grow that here too, you know.

Along my ride, I passed several restaurants that looked ripe for reviewing. I had my destination firmly fixed, however, so I made a mental note to return and rode on towards Tucson.

Around three o'clock, I found the restaurant. Apparently, Zachary's gets a lot of word of mouth advertising, or so I gathered from their lack of signage. I nearly rode past the restaurant twice, but I spotted their sign at the last second.

There were only a few people in the restaurant, and just one waitress working. I chuckled to myself looking around at the other people in the restaurant. There were a couple of other folks, sitting by themselves, talking on cell phones. Eating is a social activity, yet a cellphone is inherently isolating.

The restaurant is in a pretty rotten building, and the interior was well-worn, and mismatched. Perfect!

I had an order of super-garlicky cheese toast while I waited for my deep-dish, Chicago-style pizza. The toast was good, and the marinara rocked (peppery and tangy!), but I was eager to find out whether or not this restaurant would have the pie I've been searching Arizona for these last six years.

My deep dish pizza had sausage, pepperoni and green peppers on it. The crust was buttery and surprisingly crisp for how thick it was. It really needed a side of sauce to eat the crust on it's own, but a fine crust all the same. The sauce, by the way, was perfect. There could have been more, of course, but what was there made Lucky a happy man. Overall, the pizza was almost perfect.

The service was AMAZING. The waitress kept on top of my coffee refills, and provided me with plenty of foil to bring home my leftovers (funny how hard it is to fit a pizza box into a tank bag). This was on top of having to contend with a huge group of children who came in not long after I got my cheese bread.

So, I give Zachary's pizza an enthusiastic Five Crying Luckies. If you're in the area, make a point to stop in for a slice.

Super Easy Way to Find an Interesting Route

Or, I don't have anything to post, but I don't want to leave you hanging for too long.

Many of you are probably already aware of this. If you get directions from google maps, check "Avoid Highways" once your results come back. I use this feature a lot when I'm planning rides. I usually check the directions for dumb routing before I leave, but it's a great tool for finding the back way to another place.

What do you all use to find your way?



By the way, new pizza review tomorrow night.

Five Signs You've Found a Great Motorcycle Pizza Parlour

Finding a new restaurant is scary. You never really know if the food is going to be worthwhile, or if you're going to have to make a mad dash for the facilities minutes after eating. This blog is, of course, my own small attempt at easing your pain. Never mind that there's more posts here about motorcycles than pizza....

Here are five easy ways to tell if a pizza place is worth taking off your helmet for.

5. The word "Parlour" in the name. No one uses the word parlour any more, which is why those of us who love pizza seek out restaurants that do. It means they've been around for a good while. Restaurants, particularly pizza joints, come and go with alarming frequency. A restaurant that has been around a long time is usually a safe bet.

4. They're in a terrible building. Always be suspicious of a pizza restaurant in a shiny new building, unless it's the new location of a well-established pizza parlour. Even then, be suspicious. How did they afford the upgrade? Pretty buildings in nice locations require a lot of money, and big money means big business. Big business nearly always means bad pizza. If the building is ancient and in average to rough shape, you're probably in for a good pizza.

3. They're a local institution. A pizza joint that has been in business for forty years almost always makes a mean pie. A new place might be good, and is worth trying, but an older restaurant is usually a good restaurant.

2. There are lots of motorcycles out front, of varying brands. I am always wary of any establishment where there are a ton of Harley-Davidsons, but nary a sport or touring bike to be seen. Bikers like good food and tell each other about great restaurants where a hungry rider can find a good meal. "Bikers"™ like to drink beer and be seen looking tough, and as such will go where ever other "Bikers"™ congregate. If that is your idea of fun, enjoy it by all means. Me, I just want a good slice. Your results may vary.

1. It's been given a rating of five Crying Luckies by your favorite motorcycle pizza reviewer. Hey, a little self-promotion never hurt anyone…*

Please leave comments with your own tips for finding a good pizza place. Also, I'd just like to remind y'all to please give me suggestions for places to review. Currently I'm looking for pizzas in Arizona (naturally), New Mexico, and Southern California.

Here's are some recent(-ish) reviews I've done:

Cardo's Pizza and Italian Restaurant
Two Reviews! Barbarella and Mona Lisa
Organ Stop Pizza
Spinato's Pizza
Joe's Farm Grill
Canelli's Pizzeria

*Expect a new review in the next couple days!

Ten Ways Motorcycling Improves Your Life

Motorcycles are not just a way to get to work and pizza. A car is just a way to get to pizza and work, and not a very good one. A motorcycle, on the other hand, is a fantastic travelling machine that invites you to conquer the world (in the good way).

The unfortunate cage-bound citizens around us, however, don't understand. They see the risk, but not the rewards. What rewards? Well, here's ten of them.

1. Fun. Motorcycling is the second most fun activity one could engage in. The third most fun is eating pizza, and the first most fun I'll leave up to your imagination, because my mom reads this blog.
   
2. Calm. Road rage? No thanks, I've got my motorcycle. Sure, I've had to stop at 20 red lights, been cut off twice and my ear itches something fierce. It's ok, because, unlike my poor, trapped brethren in their cages, I'm still having a great time.
3. Self-reliance. After doing a couple of parking-lot repairs - which you will do eventually, unless you are the pansiest of poseur bikers - and surviving the nastiest weather Mother Nature can throw at you while riding, you'll discover you're a lot more powerful than you thought.
4. Something to do in the winter. I've heard that some places have a horrible thing called winter, where the bikes get put away for six or seven months. On the upside, a motivated biker will take the opportunity to do everything they meant to do to their bike during the riding months. If you don't like playing in the snow, at least you can play in the garage.
   
5. Toughness. After you've ridden every day for a year, changes in weather and hefty rocks bouncing along the road will no longer bother you.
6. New friends everywhere. If you've got a motorcycle, you've got new friends. All you have to do is be willing to talk to them. For all I rag on Harley dorks, I've met more great guys on Harleys than jerks. And the great thing about the jerks is that most of them are just too cool to talk to you.
7. Cool leathers. Just remember that it takes one hell of a cool guy to get away with wearing chaps, and there has only been one man ever who could wear white leathers.
8. A big collection of tools. Most of these will be purchased five minutes before the store closes on a Tuesday night just before you stay up until midnight getting the bike running again. At least you'll only have to buy them once. Until you need another one.
   
9. Stompy boots. Let's be honest, we all love to feel like a bad ass in our boots. If you ride every day, you get to wear big ol' stompy boots every day.
   
10. A bike makes your butt look fast. Seriously, just like a monkey makes everything funnier, everyone's butt looks better on a motorcycle. You know it's true.
    

Not Riding in the Rain

So which is worse, riding in the rain, or not riding in the rain?

I think the answer is pretty obvious – not riding sucks much more than a little weather. Yesterday we had glorious rain throughout the day, most notably during the morning commute. Not so much as a single drop of water touched me while on the road however. This wasn’t because of my amazing rain gear (which, miraculously, keeps the rain from even falling). It wasn’t because of my ninja-like raindrop avoidance skills.

Nope. It was because I was carpooling.

I don’t particularly mind carpooling. It decreases our overall fuel costs, and wear and tear costs for multiple vehicles. Plus, our car has a pretty good stereo, so I get to enjoy high-quality audio on my way to work. And Lady Luck is pretty good company.

All the same, I’d rather be on my bike.

The desire to, y’know, be on my bike, is one of the major driving forces behind my drive to get my motorcycle business going. Yes, I’m going to start dealing (motorcycles) in order to support my (motorcycle) habit.  The difference between selling to support my need for motorcycles and other folks selling chemical refreshments to support their habits is that living in a garage strung out on motorcycles isn't a bad thing.

Lady Luck, incidentally, is behind this effort 100%, because she also wants to stop carpooling. At least, she wants to stop carpooling to our current jobs. For Christmas she gave me a box full of legal forms for setting up a Limited Liability Corporation (Help, I’m going corporate!). After I opened it, she gave me a hard look and said, “That’s a hint.”

Point taken.

As such, I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled for likely moto-sales candidates. I’ve got my eye on a couple of bikes I’ve seen this week, and I plan to take action. Expect to see my first motorcycle auction in the next few weeks.

With a bunch of hard work, and a bit of luck, by this time next year my moto-business will be going great guns and Lady Luck and I will be able to spend a lot more time riding in the rain.

Happy New Year!

Well, another crazy year down. This was the first year in a long time not defined by how much I hate my job. Instead, we had a variety of new and interesting craziness. A good deal of it was fun. Some, not so much. But in all, I think it was a pretty decent year.

So, how did I do on last years resolutions? If I recall correctly, they were to take action and set deadlines for myself. I'd say I did reasonably well. I did my best to take action instead of just dreaming and wishing, although my personal deadlines did almost nothing to motivate me. Case in point: I have yet to buy and resell a motorcycle on eBay. But, that's what the New Year is for.

This year I have only one resolution: Live awesome.

My life is already great. I have a wonderful wife, great family, good friends, plenty of fun, and three motorcycles (two of which are actually rideable). This year, I want the courage to aggressively go after opportunities and new adventures. I tend to get hung up on looking without ever finally making the leap. This year I aim to change that.

And, this isn't a resolution, but I intend to get back into the habit of regular posting here...

Best wishes to you and yours for the New Year!