Crazy times!

Sorry for not posting today. I've been insanely busy getting ready for my new job. I'll have a proper post tomorrow!

The Danger of Trying New Things

Last night Lady Luck and I were trying to decide where to go for dinner, and I wound up looking for restaurants near our house on the web. We managed to agree that Chinese sounded good, so the real trick was finding a place that seemed the least likely to suck.

As you might have gathered, we eat at restaurants a LOT. Our tastes have become a bit refined (picky) and we aren't content to eat somewhere that is merely adequate. You say "Applebee's", I say "Get out of my house."

The problem is, we've been to a lot of crappy places, tried a lot of crappy food and gotten a lot of crappy service. Frankly, it's kind of scary going to a new place. Chances are it's going to be a shithole.

I don't know about you, but I don't have the time or money to spend at crappy restaurants. If I can make better food at home, I'd rather just do that. Who wants mediocre food?

Apparently, everyone. Look at how massively successful chains like Pizza Hut, Chili's, Red Lobster and T.G.I. Friday's are. Try getting into one of those crapholes on a Friday night. Meanwhile, there are some amazing restaurants that manage to stay in business, but don't get anywhere near the traffic of the big chains. Doesn't that bother anyone else?

Anyway, to wrap up the story, we tried a new Chinese place that was freaking awesome. The restaurant was pretty full, but we still got seated right away and best of all we were supporting a small business. I'd say it was a successful Friday night!

An 80 mile day for one sexy sumbitch.

Another 80 mile day today, in rush hour again, naturally. No HOV lanes for me today, either. But, a ride is a ride and a ride is EXTRA good when a fella has an interview at another company and leaves with the job pretty much in the bag.

Oh. Hell. Yeah.

I have a phrase that I use when things are going my way. It is as follows: I am one sexy bitch. Granted, it's not the most masculine expression, but it conveys my feelings better than "excellent" ever could.

More pure genius

Coop has a post about the new Dev2.0 project that is so cool all I can say is GO READ IT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!!

The barbarians have finally taken over!!

A very, very scary biker.

Back when I was riding a scooter to work everyday, I was always amazed at how many people talked to me/hollered at me/whistled/otherwise acknowledged my presence. A lot of times it was fun but sometimes I didn't want to talk to a carload of teenagers asking about my gas mileage.

Since I've been riding my motorcycle people don't really talk to me unless they're another biker. Sure, every now and then someone will come up and want to talk motorcycles but it's extremely rare for someone to talk to me if I'm geared up and on my bike.

Am I that scary? I guess I could be. My bike is black and rather Mad-Max-styled. A full face helmet is slightly intimidating, and I notice a distinct change in the level of respect I get when I'm wearing my storm-trooper-looking Joe Rocket jacket. It seems my black leather has the same chilling effect on the casual observer.

Cool!

Now, I'm a pretty laid back guy. I usually hold doors open for people, say "excuse me" and smile when I make eye contact with others. I hate to admit it but it's awfully fun playing "alpha male" for a while when I'm off my bike but still in my armored cycle-wear. I'm still polite and cordial but people practically trip themselves getting out of my way. One time, a guy was about to cut ahead of me in line, caught a look at my warrior-like splendor, muttered "sorry" and slunk to the end of the line.

I wonder if dressing as I do has an impact when I'm riding. Do cagers think "ooooo, scary biker" and stay clear? If so, freakin' SWEET. I'm going to make me some skull shoulder armor and put as many spikes on my person as possible. Perhaps I'll even draw some "Angry Eyebrows" on my lid.

Space Man in Leather

Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but I have had so much trouble focussing on the task at hand today that it's kind of comical. I work as a computer programmer, and today I found myself writing maybe 10 lines of code then spacing out for 10 minutes or so.

I figured that lunch would be a good opportunity to find some caffeine and get my focus back. I sucked down as much soda as I could, and went back to the office. I'm still not exactly sure how I got there, but I apparently made it.

Fast-forward through an afternoon of dopey staring and near-drooling. The ride home today was torture. I'd space out, remember "I COULD DIE!!," focus again for a solid ten seconds, and space out again. That gets scary quick on a freeway. Again, I apparently made it home safe, so I guess it's all good.

Curiosity got the better of me

So way back here I mentioned a certain odd search that got someone to my site. Curiousity finally got the best of me and I had to find out what the other search results are.

Obviously, there were some sites that weren't appropriate for a family-oriented blog like mine. However, there were a couple of interesting sites that I thought deserved some attention.

http://www.citypages.com/databank/26/1264/article12991.asp

This link was too long, so I made it a text link: Confessions of a Restaurant Whore.

http://www.mississippireview.com/1997/alexand.html - This one is just odd. Right on, fucked-up-pizza-delivery-fiction-writing-guy.

A lazy, lazy post.

Lots of distractions, and not many deep thoughts today, so instead here's a link to a blog I just discovered and like quite a bit. I especially liked the "Are bikers that scary?" post.

http://www.unicornadventures.org/

Uuuuuuuuuummmmmm.......

So I was scrolling through the stats for my blog, and noticed an odd search. Someone got here by googling for "Pizza Fucking."

I'd just like to state, here and now, that my obsession with pizza is a lot less unhealthy than I thought it was. I mean, sure, I want to eat pizza a lot but that's as far as it goes.

So, Pizza-Fucker, where ever you are, good luck with whatever it is you do and please use protection before getting involved with a pizza that has hot peppers on it. And, for the love of all that is holy, don't tell me about it.

They're everywhere.

So the other night I saw a hot air balloon up close. There was one getting ready to launch right across the street from me. My long time readers know I have kind of a thing about hot air balloons.

If you've only seen a hot air balloon in the sky or on tv, you can't really appreciate how big they are, and how big the flame they use is. Silly as they are, a hot air balloon is an awe-inspiring vehicle.

One of my favorite things about motorcycles (apart from toe-dragging turns, low fuel costs, and plausible excuse to wear body armor) is that when riding I'm a part of everything I see, not just watching it from the security of my car. I can sit across the road from a hot air balloon (or whatever) and really appreciate the complete hot-air-balloon-ness of what I'm seeing. It's not TV, it's not a picture, it's not behind glass, it's right there and I can reach out and touch what I'm looking at if I want to.

The illusion of safety and security one gets in a car, or anywhere really, comes at the cost of detachment and alienation from real living. Real life is dangerous. If the world can't poke you now and then, you're depriving yourself of the opportunity to poke the world back.

Take a risk, put away your security blanket, breathe the free air and remember that the only real security and safety comes from within you.

Getting your knee down.

Awhile back, a reader said something about not being able to put his knee down, just because he rides a cruiser. I believe I told him that was no excuse, and now I've found PROOF!

Halfway down the page here is a picture of a dude on a cruiser-type bike of some sort (HD? Probably) putting his knee down.

Check out Flyin' Dutchman's Bitchin' Shit!!

Nothing like an unexpected 80 mile ride.

So, the funniest thing happened to me. Today I had a meeting in downtown Phoenix at 5:30pm. I got directions off of Expedia and left for my 30 mile trip at 4:55pm. Taking advantage of the car pool lanes, I figured I'd get there just in time.

Breezing down the HOV lanes at a completely prudent and safe 80 mph, I started to think I might actually get there with time to spare.

And I would have, too, if I hadn't missed my exit. See, expedia gave me the wrong name for the exit. So, I wound up on the far, far end of Phoenix before I realized that I'd gone a lot more than 30 miles (I like to ride, ok??). I turned around and started the journey back. And apparently missed the exit again.

That, dear reader, is how I missed my appointment and rode an extra 60 miles on my way home.

Hey, as a bonus for those of you who might be interested, I have a new job. I start in 2 weeks. Hell YEAH.

Staying home with the flu will wipe you out.

I stayed home from the office today sick with what I think was the flu. I tell you what, I've never gotten so many darn phone calls when I'm healthy as I did today. I think just about everyone and their cousin called me today asking questions, wanting to know if I want to do stuff... It's like "HEY! I'm trying to RECUPERATE!"

Well, at least I know I'm loved.

Sleep and motorcycles

I don't know about you guys, but I'm sleeping in as late as I can tomorrow, then going for a long, long ride.

It's been an exhausting week and I'm so happy it's over it's kind of silly. I got home with a big dumb grin and plans for the two-wheeled domination of the road to Tortilla Flat.

The Alphabet According to Me.

I thought I'd try something different today. Without further ado, I'd like to present "The Great Motorcycle Pizza Tour Alphabet"

A is for Asshat - Pretty much anyone on the road who isn't me.

B is for Beer - A lovely way to end a day of riding.

C is for Cop - Avoid them when you can, try not to be a dick when you can't.

D is for Dirt - A substance I am well-acquainted with.

E is for Engine - An endless source of fun

F is for Fucking SUV - Seriously, fuck SUVs.

G is for the Great Motorcycle Pizza Tour - The best blog on the web. Tell your friends!

H is for High Octane - It's just fun to say.

I is for Insurance - Sometimes a wrench can "adjust" more than one kind of nut.

J is for Jap Bike - Two wheels, motor in between and a bar to hang on to DO, in fact, make a "real motorcycle".

K is for Kickstarter - A device I probably only miss because I forgot what a pain they are.

L is for Lid - A great tool for catching lunch, also protects your skull in case of impact.

M is for Motorcycle. A vehicle to conquer the world. Also the 2nd most fun thing a person can do.

N is for New Zealand - Where I really, really want to go ride.

O is for "Oh Shit!" - A handy phrase when there are asshats trying to use you as part of their plan to break the laws of physics.

P is for Pizza - It's what's for dinner, not to mention the driving force behind this blog.

Q is for Quest - Such as the Quest to Find the Perfect Slice.

R is for (peppe)Roni - Namesake of the 'Roni Rollers, a club that isn't afraid to ask "What is it like having a 'roni?"

S is for Squid - A special brand of dumbass.

T is for the Ton - "Have you ever gone so fast you could die?"

U is for UTMC. It's not a club, ok?

V is for VX800 - Really, you probably aren't cool enough to ride this bike.

W is for WHIZZ-SPLAT! - The sound you hear 0.5 seconds before a Squid is eligible for reincarnation.

X is for Xtra Cheese, man. Don't be such a cheapskate.

Y is for Year-Round - Which is when I'm able to ride. Ha ha!

Z is for... uh.... Zundapp. I can't believe I remembered that name.

Watch your kids, lady.

Today when I went to lunch, I spotted a prime parking spot at the restaurant I was headed to. As I was pulling into the spot, the door on the van next to me flung open and a kid bounced out in front of me. Since I hadn't noticed the van had occupants, I was moving fairly quickly into my parking spot. I nearly shit a brick, and stopped in time to avoid both door and kid.

It turned out this charming group was headed to the same restaurant I was (I was at a strip mall with several restaurants). As I waited my turn at the restaurant, I noticed that the kid was bouncing off the walls. Literally. Running into a wall, SMACK, heading for another wall, SMACK, ad nauseum.

I wish I was exaggerating.

When I was a kid, such behavior would have warranted a good scolding at a minimum. At worst, we would have left the restaurant and I would have gotten bitched out the whole way home, then sent to my room (which was actually a punishment, because the cool toys were all elsewhere in the house). If I'd flung the door open and hopped out of the car I probably would have gotten instantly dragged back into the car by my shirt or hair, and yelled at for being careless.

The kid was just being a kid, but the parent (and her chum) should have been paying closer attention and, you know, stepping in before the kid leaps out into traffic. If not for the sake of the kid, then at least for the sake of my pants (which were severely strained by the solid gold brick I shat.).

Many insects died to bring you this post

I mentioned right after Christmas that I got a shiny, new leather jacket. Well, after less than a month of riding my new jacket is, shall we say, less than shiny. I'm not exactly sure what kind of jungle I ride through every day, but it's a lot juicier than I thought it was.

Case in point: my helmet. The other day, frustrated with how foggy my visor gets in the morning, I took a close look at the vents on my lid to make sure they were open. They were, but....
...yuck...
The photo of my visor didn't come out well enough to show you the collection of gummy bears that somehow squidged their way across my window to the world, but with any luck that description gave you a good understanding of the nastiness.

I guess tonight I should probably haul out the Lid-Cleanin'-Wipes and get some of the larger chunks off of there. I'm not sure if anything will get this crap off, but I can hope.

My unintended bug collection kind of blows my mind because, living in Phoenix, I hardly even notice insects unless one of the larger ones is rampaging through downtown Mesa. I hate to think what those of you who ride and live in a more life-sustaining environment find smeared across your gear at the end of the day.

Fratelli Pizza Review - Mostly Official!

Ok Ok, so I didn't actually ride to Fratelli Pizza. They are, however, more than two hours away from my house, so I think that counts for something. Anyways, on with the review! In case you don't remember, the rating system is 1 - 5 Crying Luckies, as in "how upset was Lucky when the pizza was gone?"

The Place: Fratelli Pizza, 2120 N 4th St, Flagstaff, AZ 86004, (928) 714-9700

We found Fratelli Pizza when looking for a good base for our New Year's Eve debauchery. According to the phone book, they have won the best of Flagstaff several times.

The Posse: Me and Lady Luck

The Ride: Yeah, yeah, we were in the car. We were damn close to Route 66 (or perhaps on it), does that count for something?

The Pie: Naturally, we got the Works pizza. It was a mighty fine pie.

Toppings: Great cheese, great pepperoni, great sausage, no complaints here. 5 Crying Luckies.

Sauce: Savory, not too heavy, somewhat spicy... Good good good, 4 Crying Luckies

Crust: Hot damn, one fine topping conveyance. 4 Crying Luckies

Ambience: Although they had many, many TV sets, most of them were off. I was really glad about that. The music playing started out great, but then Don Henley came on the stereo and kind of spoiled it. I don't know if that was their fault or perhaps satellite radio's. The staff were fantastic and overall I have to say I'd be happy to go back. 4 Crying Luckies

Overall: 4. 5 Crying Luckies - I keep trying to think of something bad to say, and I really can't. While it isn't the greatest pizza I've ever had, it's by far the best pizza I've had in Flagstaff, so they certainly deserve the awards they've received. If you happen to be cruising along Route 66 in Flagstaff, you should stop in, have a slice, and tell them Lucky sent you. Then, when they look at you like "who the hell is Lucky?" just act like you're shocked they don't know.

Now if I can just avoid getting sick...

The weekend is here, and with it comes the promise of riding, beer and pizza. Not a bad combination, the real trick will be staying healthy.

Don't forget to have fun.

As you regular readers have figured out, the last month or so has kind of been a drag. The last 5 days have been extra bad. In fact, they were so bad that riding stopped being fun.

I wasn't having fun riding my motorcycle. Try to wrap your melon around that.

Today was the first day this week where I got my jollies on the ride home again. It felt damn good carving up the freeway today, and I'm looking forward to a killer ride this weekend. Lady Luck tells me of a fabulous road someone at her office mentioned. Exploration is required, footpegs will be scraped, and grins shall not leave my face.

...And with any luck, pizza will be reviewed.

New Year's Resolutions

Ok, Ok, so I'm a little later than most people with my resolutions. You know what? If I'm going to resolve to change something for at least a year, I want to be damn sure they're going to happen.

And now, the resolutions!

1. Get a new damn job - Originally, I had a lengthy rant here. But I've already done two work rants, and I believe you and I both are more interested in motorcycles and pizza.

2. Keep plugging away at getting my own company going - I know I don't really work well with/for other people. Case in point, the recent ugliness. It's not that I don't like people so much as I like people better when they aren't telling me what to do. Also, I hate making some other dummy rich. If I'm going to work my ass off, I should see some damn rewards.

3. Write better posts - I've had some stinkers lately. Sorry about that, I've been distracted.

4. Review more pizza places - I know I've been a little lax. Expect a dramatic improvement.

5. Lose some weight - This is less about appearance and more about maximum motorcycle performance. The VX is SUPPOSED to be able to do 0 - 60 in 4.5 seconds, but I think it's only doing it in 5 seconds... And less weight = more room for pizza.

It's like a bad joke

The good news is, I'm still employed.
The bad news is, I'm still employed at the same place.

Thanks for the friendly advice, everyone.

This morning, I went directly to my manager and said "Hey, sorry for the screw-up this weekend." He told me we'd discuss it later today.

Fast forward to 5:00pm, by which point I am CERTAIN I'm getting canned, as I was coldly greeted by my co-workers this morning, excluded from meetings, and the boss didn't talk to me all day. How do you fire someone? Wait until it's pretty much time to leave, and then drop the train on 'em.

So, my clock ticks over to five, and within seconds my boss says "Hey, Lucky, got a minute?" I think, "well, at least I'm having pizza for dinner tonight, " and go into the meeting. I wasn't fired, and we had a discussion that was FAR too calm and reasonable. After a weekend of tension, I wanted some apocalyptic release. I wanted to throw some damn chairs around, rip my shirt off, scream at the top of my lungs and fart, loudly, on my way out of the building.

I hate an anti-climax. In an embarrassingly petty act of rebellion, as I left for the night I totally raced out of the parking lot at an unreasonable speed approaching 40 mph. That sure showed 'em.

As I rode home today, the main thing I wondered was why we couldn't have had that discussion first thing this morning. Or on the phone at some point during the weekend. Or ANY time that would have set me at ease so I could accomplish something today besides figuring out how to live on $2 a week until I got a new job.

Well, anyway, that ends the job-drama for now. My job search now begins in earnest (behind the scenes), and I'll get back to writing about pizza and motorcycles.