Whaddya think?

Lady Luck says that if I were a South Park character, I would look like this.




















I think she's right.

Hilarious Side Effects

On the VX, the rider sits rather upright, and the tank is low and out of the way. Conversely, on the Speed Four, the rider leans over the tank, and the tank rises to meet the rider. It's kind of nice, I feel like I'm in a cockpit, as opposed to riding on top of a lawn tractor (OK, a really, really fun lawn tractor...).

The combination of a low seat, a tall tank and a hot motor leads to an amusing problem, however. My stomach usually stays in contact with the tank when I ride. It's not uncomfy, but in the heat it leads to a hilarious sweat mark right in the middle of my gut. If I'm not careful about what I wear, the spot can be extremely obvious.

Anyone else had a similar experience?

The Glory and Power of Metal

If you don't understand why this is awesome, I don't want to know you.



Devin Townsend is, of course, the frontman for Strapping Young Lad (and his own band. And whatever the hell else he does).

3,300 (S)miles

2 months after purchasing my new Speed Four, I have to say that this bike is ridiculously awesome.

Riding out to San Diego was as much fun as a straight shot through the desert can be. I didn't have any music to listen to except for the Triumph sweetly singing, and the Strapping Young Lad (beware the audio if you're at work. Some people don't understand the joys of death metal. Even proggy, humorous death metal.) song I had stuck in my head. I got to experience "Severe Winds," which at 90+ mph on a naked bike translates to "Wind will rip your freakin' head off and lob it into the dunes where it will then be subjected to Richard Wagner's complete works in one sitting."

The ride back was considerably less fun, because the only really fun roads on the trip are in California. It's like eating dessert first, and then you have to sit down to a big ol' plate of liver and onions with a side of pickled herring.

Anyway, the Triumph is shockingly comfy on long trips for a bike which has ergonomics similar to humping a football. Of course, having to stop for gas every 120 miles helps out, since one gets a lot of stretch breaks.

While in San Diego, I visited my buddy Penguin-Man's family, and got to go out riding with his dad, Human Comet, and his brother, The Stranger. These guys are lucky enough to live in SoCal, and know the roads. Therefore, they were able to ride way, way, way faster than me most of the time. I felt kind of bad for making them wait for me so often, but a going into an unfamiliar curve at high speed is a good way to catch a nasty case of dead, so I took it easy.

Incidentally, while riding with those guys I found out exactly what doing 0 - 60 mph in 4.5 seconds is like. Remember "bullet-time" from that one movie that had Cowboy Curtis and Ted but not Bill in it? It's like that, only without all the half-assed metaphysics.

Roving Bands of Sickle Bums

That one guy on the Triumph kinda looks like me.

A Few Post-San Diego Thoughts

More to come later, but here's a couple of tasty thoughts I had while riding to and from San Diego this weekend.

• Great Name for a Band: Truth Decay. Possibly a psychedelic agit-pop group
• Word to add to the glossary: Motojabber - the excited, adrenaline-soaked rantings of a guy fresh from riding way, way too fast along a curvy road.
• 2nd butt is to motorcycle rider as 2nd wind is to marathon runner.
• Somehow, walking around shirtless in San Diego is 100 times more acceptable than doing the same in Phoenix.

San Diego or Burst!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to get up early, hop on my bike and ride out to San Diego for a long weekend. As an added bonus, Lady Luck and a few other sketchy characters will be coming along in the support vehicle.

Actually, they'll all be in the car while I ride (and I'll probably end up riding in the car with them for a lot of the outings once we arrive), but for purposes of ego-enhancement, I'm going to refer to them as my support team. This is my blog, after all.

Anyway, we're all going out to San Diego to spend many, many hours on the beach and getting our much-needed relaxation on.

With luck, we'll even get some pizza. See ya Tuesday.

The Newer Hotness

Tonight we went and picked up Lady Luck's new black '07 Vespa GTS 250.

I've said before that scooters are awesome. This scooter is awesome. Freeway legal and quick. Most twist-n-go scooters are a bit sluggish, but not this guy. One hits 50 mph before you can say Double-Whip-Mocha-Latte.

Then there is the fun factor. All scooters are ridiculously fun. Stupidly fun. Pure gonzo-wahoo-laff-riot-crazy fun to be honest. Scooters are vehicles for goofing off and being silly. A scooter is to motorcycles as go-karts are to cars (in the good way). And this scooter is powerful enough to zip through traffic without breaking a sweat. Rev limiter? Good luck hitting it anywhere besides the freeway.

Anyway, Lady Luck and I went out on our respective new bikes and terrorized downtown Tempe. Good times! Right now our garage is chock full of black motorcycles. As you all know, that is a good thing.

Pictures to come later.

Movings and Shakings

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been rather enthusiastic lately. In the last 3 months I've gotten a kick ass new gig that I totally love, a super kick ass new bike that I'm absolutely tickled with, and have generally felt kinda motivated and chock full of virility.

Until this weekend. I've still got the great gig, the great bike and things are all pretty good, but I've been feeling decidedly unmotivated and generally frustrated for the past couple of days. I think the problem is that, although I aspire to greatness, I've been doing kind of a lousy job of taking action and getting on my path to greatness. I want to be a mover and a shaker, but most of the time I barely muster a solid rattle. I know, however, that I don't want to spend my whole life working for someone else's company.

I think a big part of my problem is that I have a hard time picking a goal and sticking with it. Every few weeks, I'll have another brilliant idea and I'll want to pursue that instead. And I think just about everything is completely awesome. I've stopped telling people about new things that I'm excited about because I usually just get an eye roll now.

As of tonight, I'm pretty sure I've got a goal picked out for myself, and I'm working hard to stay focused on it (I'll tell you more when I've got it figured out enough for public consumption). Next up is the part where I go after my goal with overwhelming force. That part is where I get stuck because, as I said, I get distracted easily.

Transitioning the focus I have while riding to other parts of my life is damn hard. But, since most people take the easy way, it stands to reason that it is better to take the more difficult path.

Well, I've got my head down. Time to start running at that wall.

The Other Pizza Tour

Gary has posted a motorcycle pizza review of his own. Go check it out!

Favorite Tool: 3 pound hammer

I bet you're thinking that this is going to be about all the wrenching I had to do on my bike this weekend. Well, it's not. And apart from some chain maintenance, it was a wrench-free weekend.

It was not a tool-free weekend however, as on Saturday night we went and saw Tool. Now, honestly, I was really there to see Isis, but I liked Tool's latest album so I figured it'd be a pretty good time.

Isis was good, but they only played for 30 minutes. Is it just me, or are bands getting lazier? It's ok, I've seen them before when they were headlining, and they played for at least an hour and a half that time.

On to the Tool show: I don't want to give too much away for those who haven't seen Tool yet on this tour, but when you do see them, tell me you didn't think "hmm... Tool on Ice!"

There were a couple giant screens showing bits of Tool videos and other graphics during the show. Now, I forgot that Tool's videos give me the jibblies. Their videos are so similar to nightmares I had as a kid that I got a bit disturbed during the show.

When we left, one of the guys let us know that we'd seen "Tool on five," meaning it was a half-assed show. See, Maynard got beaned by a water bottle some doofus in the crowd threw during the second song, and left the stage for the rest of the song. Then he came back for the next song, but he didn't sing until the last line. And then he just stood there singing (more or less) for the rest of the show. My understanding is that he normally flies around the stage like a "crazy monkey," (to quote our buddy again). Disappointing. I don't blame him for being mad, but it was a bummer that he just kinda hid by the drum set for the whole show.

Anyway, it was a good show all the same. They're some talented fellas.

Pizza Time Pizza - Official Review!

A long weekend requires a respectably long ride. A respectably long ride requires pizza. On Sunday, I decided to head Northeast and see what I could find. What I found was

The Place: Pizza Time Pizza
2767 Hwy 260
Overgaard, AZ 85933
928-535-4458

The Posse: Just me.

The Pie: Pepperoni. I'm always amazed at how easy it is to find good pizza in small towns. Meanwhile, in larger cities, good pizza is exceedingly rare. I was a little anxious going in, given how frequently I've been burned trying new things lately.

Speaking of burned, my pizza was brought out while it was screaming hot. As you know, I can never wait for it to cool, so naturally I burned the hell out of my mouth. Luckily, the pizza was good enough to justify the pain. 4 Crying Luckies*

The Toppings: Average pepperoni, good cheese. It tasted fresh, and they weren't cheap with the cheese. 5 Crying Luckies

The Crust: Hella-crispy thin crust. An excellent topping transport. Not the best crust I've ever had, but I'm really picky. 4 Crying Luckies

The Sauce: I was beginning to think that there was a law against using a reasonable amount of flavorful sauce in Arizona. While Pizza Time doesn't use as much as I'd like, what was there tasted pretty good (and they weren't too cheap with the sauce). 4 Crying Luckies

The Ambiance: Since I was in a small town, it makes sense that I got a small town vibe from the place. It was your basic, cheap, pizza joint, with a screen door that slams shut, fiberglass booths and the expected country-froo-froo decorations. I also got the small town treatment, as in "Who the hell are you, moto-boy, and how long is it going to take to get you back out of here?" As my meal progressed and I proved that I wasn't a jerk, they warmed up. A little. 3 Crying Luckies

The ride: Ah, the glorious ride. I took State Route 87 North until I got to Payson (76 miles), and then took State Route 260 through Heber (52 miles) to Overgaard (about 2-3 miles out of Heber). My ride took me up into the mountains, and the weather was delightfully threatening once I got close to Payson. Not only was it gloomy and threatening rain, but the clouds were so close I felt like I could reach up and touch them.

I stopped for gas in Payson, and had a few tense minutes when my bike wouldn't start again. I let it sit for about 10 minutes and it fired right up again. That was weird. Then it was on to Heber.

The road to Heber is mostly two-lane forest roads. I think that out, alone, on a road like that in the middle of nowhere is where you find the real America. It's not sanitized, homogenized or plastered with marketing materials. It is powerful, free and, sadly, ignored by 90% of the population.

I saw a biker pulled off to one side, and pulled in to make sure he was ok. He was, and asked me where I was headed. He told me there was a ride of some sort starting in Overgaard. What he didn't tell me was that there was a custom bike show as well.

After I got my pizza, I had to swing by the bike show. For the most part it sucked (if I'd paid more than $2 to get in, I probably would have been pissed.) but there were a couple of tasty bikes there. First up was a ratted old BSA. It was the only rat-bike there, and one of the only bikes that looked remotely rideable.

As I wandered, I noticed some bikes that were right up my alley. Low, black, purposeful and tough-looking. I thought "these kind of look like they were built by Exile." Lo and behold, Johnny Goodson - formerly of Exile - has started his own shop, Insane Custom Cycles, right here in Arizona! I talked to him briefly and let him know exactly how much I thought his bikes rock.

Then, it was off home. I apparently was riding right behind the storm, as the road was soaked, but I didn't get rained on. Phew!

All in all, a great ride, even if the roads weren't too technical. 4 Crying Luckies

Overall: I would definitely recommend the ride and pizza. For Phoenix-dwellers, a quick blast up into the mountains during the summer offers a great respite from the oppressive heat. And, hey, there's some good pizza waiting for you out there. 4 Crying Luckies



*For those of you just joining us, a Crying Lucky is a measure of how upset I am when the pizza is gone. 1 is Bad, 5 is Good!

Great Post Later Tonight

...Ok, so I got delayed last night. New pizza review and associated ramblings tonight!

Really great post coming up.

Hi all - I've got a fantastic post for you coming up later tonight/early tomorrow. Pizza and motorcycles will both be involved, so be sure to check back.